To Know Defeat

It’s difficult to embrace defeat, for all of us. Whether we admit it or not is another matter entirely.

Humans strive for success, be it in work or in love. In politics or in athletics. Everyone has their own goals, their own objectives in life which they struggle for. In most cases, they fail. For every one winner, every success there are tens and hundreds of failures. It is a sad fact of reality, but not one we should allow to defeat us.

Defeat is what helps us learn and adapt. When we lose a football game, we practice harder to win next time. When we are turned down for a date, we move on and try again (usually). Defeat gives us, in some twisted way, motivation to succeed. Because, to be quite frank, defeat is depressing. And nobody enjoys being upset, so they strive to ensure that they never experience defeat again. Or, if they do, to at least attempt in such a manner that they are satisfied even in defeat.

There are, alas, times when defeat is ultimate and final. When the despair of losing is so great that we give up ever trying. People cast aside attempts at reaching their dreams because the taste of defeat is foul and unpleasant, a taste they desire never to experience again. I am sorry to say that on more occasions than not I am one of these people.

But I’m getting better. Defeat has spurred me on to greater heights. I’m job hunting twice as much as before, I’m taking grinds in college, I’m starting to trust people again. I’m still fearful of failing, and I still don’t take as many risks as before.

But I’m getting better.

Why do we Pray?

Prayer is such an integral part of any theistic religion. In some religions, one must pray at certain times of the day, in others it’s simply something one does whenever they wish to communicate with their deity. But why do we pray?

Let us set my own religious stance aside for a moment, and seriously consider this question. For the purposes of simplicity, I shall utilise my own knowledge for this, which is of Christianity.

People come up with many different reasons for prayer. One of the first reasons I usually get told is to ask of their God(s) a favour. In the case of Christians, is this not sorely futile? It is mentioned numerous times in the bible, that God has a “Divine Plan”. This is a pre-written plan God has for us, for all humanity and all existence. It details everything which is going to happen to us during our time in reality. So why then would He change it because we ask it of Him? Why would God spend so long conceiving this plan, only to have it ruined when someone asks Him for something? Surely, then, He will not answer requests, for it will destroy his divine plan. Ergo, prayer for requests is futile and there is no need for it. Especially when people pray for a new car, or to wish someone harm, or to win the lottery. Can you honestly expect the Lord of Creation to answer such greedy and sadistic prayers? Such a thought is laughable.

Perhaps then, people pray for others souls. This is a little more reasonable, but it too eventually proves futile. Depending on which Christian church you are a part of, it is likely that God will judge a person’s immortal soul on their own actions. The good go to Heaven, the evil to Hell. Alternatively, some Christian branches believe in Predetermination, where one’s soul is condemned or saved prior even to birth. This comes from God’s omnipotence and omniscience. God knows a person’s future (which raises an interesting point in regards to Free Will, which I shall discuss later) well before that person even comes into being, and hence know where their soul is going. In both these cases prayer does nothing for a person’s soul. You can beg God to spare a person from Hell all you like, but if they are judged on their own actions your prayers are ignored, and the same holds true for pre-determination.

Then, perhaps, one prays simply to communicate with God? Yet God is held to be something we cannot comprehend, something which we cannot understand. It is so far above us that He is to us what we are to ants. Then how can He be expected to understand us? How, if He governs all of reality and watches trillions of stars and quadrillions of planets with billions of lifeforms, can we honestly expect to be heard?

We pray for forgiveness, which serves at least some purpose, assuming God can hear us. But as I mentioned above, God most likely cannot hear nor comprehend us, as we cannot hear nor comprehend ants. And in the case of the Christian faiths which believe in pre-determination, then prayer for our forgiveness does nothing for the same reasons prayer for another does nothing.

So we come to the final point.

We pray for ourselves. There is nothing else for it, no other logical reason. I can understand why though.

It’s comforting, to believe that your prayers have an effect. That your watching God can hear you, can comfort you. I don’t blame those who pray, and in fact I am jealous of them for having found something to comfort them.

I must find some other way….

Making time For One’s Self

Hobbies are the things that keep me sane to be perfectly honest. I have a vast number of them, which is why I consider myself a Jack of all Trades, master of none. The problem comes with making time to partake in my hobbies, or just taking the time to relax and be myself.

For those that don’t know, I am unemployed, primarily due to the current economic climate and my being a student. Not many people are looking for part time employees these days, and if they are they generally want some kind of work experience. Considering the only thing I have any experience in is writing, that’s not the greatest piece of information I want to hear while job hunting.

Because of this one main fact, I spend the vast majority of my time on the internet trying to eke out just enough money to survive on. Most of the time I fail, but fortunately my family usually has a few odd jobs I can help with, be it cutting the grass or helping to move furniture. And they pay me for these jobs, usually far above minimum wage. But it’s still only just about enough to get me through month to month. All my time is used up on the internet trying to make money through a hundred different online projects through fifty different names. Websites, blogs, freelance writing….

Due to the combination of ‘business’ and the lack of a reliable income, I don’t have a lot of time to spend with myself or my friends. I usually manage to squeeze in an hour of “me time” just before I fall asleep, where I can write stories, read books and listen to music. If I’m lucky, I might get a day where I can hang out with friends and go to a park or something. But if they want to go to a cinema, I have to politely decline. I’m not one to scrounge off my close friends, so I’m not willing to have them pay my way through our movies and meals. I just order a small fries when they order a Big Mac meal. I don’t get popcorn when we see a movie. It’s not ideal, but it works.

It’s extremely important to make the time for yourself, at least an hour a day. I’d go stark raving mad if I didn’t do that. Just take the time to lie down, put on some music, and read a book. Play with your children if you have them. Watch TV, talk with a friend on the phone. Write a letter.

Life’s not as serious as people want you to think, and if you don’t stop to relax it will overwhelm you. If you let the intricacies and complications of life get to you, you’ll never survive.

Multiple Personality Disorder

The internet is a strange place. One can take on the identity of damn near whoever they choose. S’far as you all know, I’m some multi-billionaire with too much time on his hands. (I’m not).

For those that haven’t figured it out, “Niemand” is not my real name. Nor is it the only fake name I go by online. I maintain four different identities online, some less prolific than others. Why? A multitude of reasons.

The reason I created “Niemand” and this blog is because I wanted to keep my personal thoughts away from my life outside the internet. Mainly because I’m paranoid, but also because it sets me free. I don’t have to worry about what I say coming back to haunt me. I’m sure all this paranoia is going to result in a horrific explosion in the future where real life and internet life collide.

Then, of course, there is my actual identity which people in real life know about. This one is less prolific, has done less things, but the things it has done online are ‘safe’ and I don’t have to worry about bad things happening. That’s my online persona for the things i wish to be known for.

There are loads of other names I go under online, for a variety of reasons. I’m sure I’ll come to regret the epic tangle of wires that is my online world, but it’s been working thus far. What about you people? How many online aliases and identities do you have? Just the one? Or do you have more names than I have t-shirts?

So….What’s with that Israel thing, eh?

I’m sure many of you are well aware of what happened recently in regards to Israel and an aid convoy en route to the Gaza Strip. For those not in the know, I present a few avenues of learning for you. Long story put short is this:

A group of ships attempted to break the (illegal) blockade Israel has placed on the Gaza strip, in an effort to bring aid to the trapped people within the Strip. Israeli forces proceeded to board the ships and fire upon the people on board. Between ten and 25 people died during the raid. Cue international uproar.

Now with you all caught up on the action, might I present my take on the whole political shitstorm.

On the whole, I’m thoroughly confused as to whose side to take. In the entire Israel/Palestine war I’ve switched sides more times than I care to admit. The whole thing’s so complicated I never know who I actually agree with. In this particular scenario, it’s no different. Israel claims they gave fair warning to the ships, which I suppose makes sense. They want to prevent Hamas supporters from getting weapons into the Gaza Strip so Hamas can continue to bomb their civilians. I for one don’t argue with the boarding action….not completely anyway. If fair warning was given, then the other ships should have known what was about to go down. The fact that the blockade is illegal in the first place kind of makes everything about as complicated as a rubik’s cube which is missing a block.

Where issue is taken, so to speak, is what Israel did during the boarding. They shot, and killed, several unarmed aid workers. Now, they claim to have been set upon by the troopers, and expect sympathy. They illegally committed an act of piracy against these ships and lethally shot people attacking them with fists and other pretty crappy weapons. The whole thing is a disgrace, and the soldiers who boarded should be held accountable.

Whether Israel will be punished for their terrible act of international piracy (boarding a ship in international waters where they have no right to act is piracy I am afraid) remains to be seen. Thus far, Israel has basically been allowed do whatever the hell it wants and can expect to get away with pretty much all of it. So long as America is on their side, no-one will touch them. But the UN Security Council looking set to hold an investigation into the incident, there is a small chance they will actually get some kind of sanctions put on them

Will the sanctions match the severity of the ones handed down to North Korea for similar atrocities? Probably not.

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