Social Lives are Evil

I hereby declare total war on my social life. But not really. That sounds too much like hard work.

Since last Thursday I have spent a drum total of one night in my own bed, and every other night I have spent sleeping in someone else’s house (usually on a couch). Hence the complete and utter lack of anything to do with the internet. No blog posts, no tweeting and no Entrecard dropping. Apologies to everyone for dropping out of the blogosphere unannounced, but most of what occurred over the weekend was unplanned.

However, a lot has happened in that time that I’ve been away. I updated my WordPress install, started a new website and whopped some serious ass in Rome: Total War multiplayer. I’m particularly proud of that last one, since I usually suck massively in strategy games. And that’s not all I’ve done in the past half a week.

Those of you that are unaware of my alter-ego in the online world (my more legitimate and awesome one, not the less awesome one) will also be unaware of its status as a Freelance writer. Recently, however, I turned those writing skills to something I wanted to do. In short, ladies and gents, I intend on writing a short science-fiction story. Thanks to friends in certain places, I also have two Sci-Fi magazines which would be willing to publish said short story if it’s of good enough quality. So wish me luck!

In closing: Social Lives are evil and must be destroyed, for they detract from the Great Justice of the internet. How many of you have lost their battle against the evils of sociability?

Finding Stuff To Do

People, I need help. I’m bored to tears here and it’s gotten to the point where to make things interesting I dyed my hair blue.

No you will not get pictures, since that would give away my identity. Juts trust me it’s blue.

I desperately need things to do. Since the job hunt is failing I have loads of spare time on my hand, and I am desperate for things to do. I’ve taken to playing a new game called “Neptune’s Pride” online, which has served as some entertainment and I also play more Facebook games than are healthy for me. Does anyone have anything else for me to do? I’m open to pretty much anything. When a friend of mine gets back from her time in Meath on an Archaeological dig site, the two of us are getting piercings.

I’m open to suggestions no matter the weirdness of them.

Forgive Yourself

I read a post recently at a blog I frequent quite often, regarding the difficulty some people have in forgiving themselves when compared to forgiving others.

At first I read the post, left a comment explaining that I had the same issue. I find it much harder to forgive myself of my mistakes than I do of forgiving others. It was only when the blog’s author responded that I actually began to think about why this is so. Why do I find it so hard to et my own mistakes slide when all it takes from others is a sincere apology. It took me a while, and the question wouldn’t leave my mind until finally I came to an answer. It wasn’t a particularly heartwarming answer, nor an overly satisfactory one, but at least I had a reason.

I can never forgive myself because I am less deserving of forgiveness. In my eyes at least.

Let me explain. I generally see myself as being extremely lucky to have the life I do. I have a group of amazing friends, a comfortable life and a good education. The problem is I cannot find what I have done to earn all this, I kind of feel it’s just been handed to me. I’m grateful, of course, but I feel like I owe the world something. This is why I’m more than happy to walk to the other end of campus to buy a friend a drink, or accompany a friend to a library so they can have some company during the walk. It’s why I so rarely hold grudges. In fact, as of this moment, there is only two (maybe three) people in the world I can actually say I hold a grudge against or dislike.

Due to this feeling of owing everyone something, it kind of places me on a lower rank than others in my life. I won’t call someone because I could be interrupting something important. I will ask permission before joining friends at a table. It’s this “lesser status” which has me finding difficulty when it comes to forgiving myself. Even if I commit the exact same crime against a friend as they do against me, I’ll be more than willing to accept an apology from them, but even when I apologise for what I’ve done I still feel guilty. There are a great many things I regret doing in my life which I still cannot forgive myself for doing.

That said, I’m not looking for pity or comfort. It’s just who I am, similar to how someone may be uncomfortable with their appearance. I accept it as who I am, deal with it and move on in life. I don’t let it eat at me.

If you’re reading this and you think to yourself “Hey, he’s like I am. I have trouble as well,” then please let me know. I’d offer some advice and tell you something like “Of course you’re worth forgiveness”, but that would be terribly hypocritical of me. What I can offer is to accept your mistakes. Even if you can’t forgive them, do not allow your blunders and your crimes to control your life or eat away at you. Because then you suffer the wound twice.

Dear France

Oh hey there France. You may not remember me. I’m that guy who’s had a crappy holiday everytime I visit you. I’m also, as you may not know (assuming you don’t remember me, which is likely. I’m just some guy you probably think is emo) Irish. Do you know what this means, France?

It means we’re not in the World Cup because of you. We’re not in the World Cup because one of your citizens is a cheater and a liar.

Oh, don’t mistake me for someone who actually follows sports. I’m about as sports-loving as a rock or a sloth. But this was too far France. You had all of Ireland raging for your blood, and a good few non-Irish countries too. But Karma is a cruel bitch of a mistress.

I love Karma, she makes me so happy sometimes.

You lost France. You lost badly. You lost badly several times. And now you’re no longer in the World Cup. Sucks to be you, bitch.

All the best,

Niemand.

Making time For One’s Self

Hobbies are the things that keep me sane to be perfectly honest. I have a vast number of them, which is why I consider myself a Jack of all Trades, master of none. The problem comes with making time to partake in my hobbies, or just taking the time to relax and be myself.

For those that don’t know, I am unemployed, primarily due to the current economic climate and my being a student. Not many people are looking for part time employees these days, and if they are they generally want some kind of work experience. Considering the only thing I have any experience in is writing, that’s not the greatest piece of information I want to hear while job hunting.

Because of this one main fact, I spend the vast majority of my time on the internet trying to eke out just enough money to survive on. Most of the time I fail, but fortunately my family usually has a few odd jobs I can help with, be it cutting the grass or helping to move furniture. And they pay me for these jobs, usually far above minimum wage. But it’s still only just about enough to get me through month to month. All my time is used up on the internet trying to make money through a hundred different online projects through fifty different names. Websites, blogs, freelance writing….

Due to the combination of ‘business’ and the lack of a reliable income, I don’t have a lot of time to spend with myself or my friends. I usually manage to squeeze in an hour of “me time” just before I fall asleep, where I can write stories, read books and listen to music. If I’m lucky, I might get a day where I can hang out with friends and go to a park or something. But if they want to go to a cinema, I have to politely decline. I’m not one to scrounge off my close friends, so I’m not willing to have them pay my way through our movies and meals. I just order a small fries when they order a Big Mac meal. I don’t get popcorn when we see a movie. It’s not ideal, but it works.

It’s extremely important to make the time for yourself, at least an hour a day. I’d go stark raving mad if I didn’t do that. Just take the time to lie down, put on some music, and read a book. Play with your children if you have them. Watch TV, talk with a friend on the phone. Write a letter.

Life’s not as serious as people want you to think, and if you don’t stop to relax it will overwhelm you. If you let the intricacies and complications of life get to you, you’ll never survive.

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