Death comes on swift wings.

This has been a tough summer. And yesterday my entire life fell apart.Death, as they say, is a sadistic bastard. Okay,  maybe they don’t say that, but I like to think that.

This is long, so click the “More” to read it.

3 years ago, my life was saved by a man. He called himself Valens (Vay-lens), his real name’s not important. We spent a long time talking, and when he eventually had to leave we exchanged MSN contact details. We’ve stayed in touch ever since. I’ve only seen him two more times since, but I would count him as my closest friend. He’s always there when I need someone, and he never judges me.

Also three years I was introduced to a small group of friends Valens had made. Because he travelled a lot he didn’t have the luxury of more than six (myself included). None of us went by our real names (because a lot of us only spoke online and others hated their birth names). There was myself (I was Nihil), Simone, Jericho, Avvy, Cannan and Preacher. I counted all of these as my closest friends and were among the very small number of people I trust in this world. Simone is the one who plays the largest part in this story. But someday I shall tell you all about the others. I owe it to them.

With her brother (Valens) overseas, her mother dead and her father in prison for her murder, Simone didn’t have a lot of people to turn to. Preacher would provide her with money, but he was a rather enigmatic fellow. None of us knew his real name, nor what he looked like in person. Because of this, and with the fact that Simone lived near enough to me, she and I would meet up as often as life allowed. She is the person in this world I trust the most besides her brother. Over the years she has always been there for me, as I have for her. Though, despite teasing from the others, she and I never had “intimate relations”. I loved her, yes. But as the sister I never had, no more. And she saw me as the brother she got to speak to. We were close, I’d teach her various mechanical and technological tricks, she’d make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I have a slight masochistic tendency you see, no idea why. Just sometimes I might harm myself. I’ll save that for another post perhaps… She made me quit smoking, she helped through school, consoled me when I was upset. She was probably the most important person in my life.

She died yesterday at 10:27 local time. Alone, in pain and scared in a hospital.

Last Saturday, the 18th, Simone, Jericho and Avvy were on their way from the West of Ireland after spending a year in America. On the way, a truck ran a red light and hit their car. They never found the truck driver, he was fine and seen running away by witnesses. Jericho and Avvy were killed instantly. Simone, however, was taken to hospital. She had internal bleeding, massive bruising, broken bones. But she’s always been a fighter, and she pulled through. Last night she was going into surgery to have a piece of shrapnel removed. I called her before she went in, offered to come up and be with her. She told me not to. Not only did I have to go to Jericho’s funeral she told me, but another one of my friends was turning 20. She told me she’d be fine, and that I was to go out and enjoy myself for the both of us. Twenty minutes later I got a call from Preacher.

Simone had died during the operation. They missed a piece of shrapnel which travelled through her blood, tearing her blood vessels. When they were about to begin surgery, it moved into her heart. I’m told by Preacher they hadn’t given her the anaesthetic yet…she was screaming in pain. Coughing blood…and then…nothing.

I’ve already gone to one funeral for a close friend. This Friday I have Avvy’s funeral. Preacher, being the only one with any money, will be organising Simone’s funeral.

For the first time in my life…I feel so very alone.

3 Responses to “Death comes on swift wings.”

1. different thinker says:

   July 23, 2009 at 12:52 pm

   So very sorry for you……..
   One never learns a true freinds or for that matter anyones value until you can no longer enjoy them.So live your life to the fullest…..

   Also …its good to hear that there are people like you to keep me company……..wishing to hear form you more often……and share ideas…..

   The layout of your blog too is impressive….good work!

   Reply
2. So Seven Became Three | Revelations: Zero says:

   July 24, 2009 at 7:07 pm

   [...] Tuesday, I lost the closest friend I’ve ever had. I figured that in order to understand the impact that has had on me, I need to explain about [...]

   Reply
3. Sometimes… | Revelations: Zero says:

   August 6, 2009 at 10:55 am

   [...] two weeks I have lost the only people in this world I trust. In the past few months the only person I have ever loved left me, I have watched my own self-pity [...]

   Reply